living amends big book

Many alcoholics are guided through the steps by a sponsor, but some individuals complete the steps on their own. AA’s step work has been adjusted for use in other addiction recovery programs, such as sex addiction or drug addiction. Overall, the step of making amends in AA encompasses the program’s mission to heal the emotional and spiritual aspects of alcoholism while also diminishing the physical and mental side effects of addiction.

Support for Me and My Family

living amends big book

Many recovering alcoholics have relapsed when they allowed their fears to block them from completing step nine. For example, Dr. Bob, one of the original founders of the AA program, could not stay sober until he went around town and made amends to all those he had hurt. “Freedom” seems to be the word that most clearly describes the essence of Step Nine.

living amends big book

Relief from Fear and Economic Insecurity

Because we are feeling afraid we assume that this means we truly have something to fear. To prepare for this step it’s a good idea to let go of all our expectations about how our amends will or should turn out. When it comes to making amends to others, there are usually a lot of fears and expectations involved. We may be afraid about making financial amends, or afraid of rejection, retaliation and a host of other doubtful outcomes.

Personal Experiences with the 9th Step Promises

The other is that only so grave a step may deter a future President from such abuses. By striking for safe staffing levels, New York City nurses joined a wave of labor unrest that has swept the health care industry in response to Covid-19. An open letter to the director of the Office of Government Ethics. On burnout, hell, billionaires, health care, the specter of the limousine liberal, and the anti-trans agenda.

I always thought that I had been making direct amends whenever I had injured others. I would apologize for my mistakes and pray about it to have the knowledge to not repeat my actions. This was a good start for me but there were still a lot of « I’s » as I experienced this step. As with all the steps I have found for me, that as time moves on they reveal more and more to me.

living amends big book

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

According to The Big Book, the purpose of amends is to admit, take accountability for and address the harm caused. This may involve apologizing and, when necessary, making restitution to a person, or organization. We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might living amends affect us emotionally.

living amends big book

The Experience Blog

So be sure to talk with your sponsor and/or support group about your plan in the event that you need support. When embarking on this process, do so with deliberate care to ensure that your actions reflect genuine sincerity and are clearly defined. Accept the path ahead without apprehension about instant results. Engaging closely with other alcoholics reveals an effective safeguard against relapse into drinking habits. Alcoholics Anonymous lays out twelve promises that offer those in recovery a sense of hope and the prospect of attaining peace. They mark the beginning of an altered existence, one that pivots from self-centeredness towards a life with greater consideration for others.

living amends big book

The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9. We make a list of all people we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all (Step 8), and then make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others (Step 9). But amends are so much more than just making a list and saying you are sorry, and this is where it becomes important to understand the difference between making an amends and making an apology.

On A Mission To End Addiction!

Many sponsors bring an awareness of why individuals are motivated to express amends and can question the beneficial purpose of sharing such information from the past. It is always necessary to be open-minded when working the steps because discussing your amends list with a sponsor can surface other avenues of the amends process that you may not have considered before. Perhaps, the amends that you wanted to make might not seem right after discussing with a sponsor. Many people think of making amends as simply apologizing for whatever wrongs they did in their using, however an apology is not an amend. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using.

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